April 14, 2011

This Is Why I'm Scared

... of book signings.

Haven't done one, I hope I never have to.

From the Onion:

Author Promoting Book Gives It Her All Whether It's Just 3 People Or A Crowd Of 9 People

CINCINNATI—Shortly before her reading Tuesday at local bookstore Word Mentality, author Francine Massey told reporters that she does her absolute best for everyone who comes out to see her, whether it's just three people or a much larger crowd of nine people.

I just love the end of the article and I quote:
"Honestly, meeting one devoted fan is enough to make my night," said Massey, nervously glancing at her watch. "Even if I have to read for just that one person sitting all alone there in the back row, I'm going to give him the reading he deserves."

Checking her watch again, Massey sighed and added, "Jesus Christ, one fucking person. All right, fine, whatever. Here we go."


Christine Murray said...

I think I would actually die of mortification on the spot!

Alison said...

I read that article too, and I just know it's going to be me. I'm considering paying day laborers to come and mill about at my table, should I ever do a book signing. That's right - ten bucks to just come and mill about.

Ice Charades said...

Alison - that is a great idea - not any different, I think, than when my mother bribed all the neighborhood kids with a trip to the ice cream parlour if they went to my ballet recital.

I would prefer to be an opening act for another skater, someone like Johnny Weir, on his book tour. You know, someone who is already famous.