The Day I Was A Flower

Remember a while back when I mentioned I went to play practice at my daughter's school and everything had to be in Spanish and I felt mentally retarded?

No?

Perhaps I didn't put it so bluntly back then. Or maybe you remember me ranting about the mothers putting on the play for the kids, which seems totally insane to me, but whatever.


But, I did it. I was the stupidest looking flower ever in the play with seven lines of dialogue all in Spanish. That meant if I forgot any line, I would not be adlibbing very easily.

Hurray for me! I remembered all of my lines, even though I mispronounced a few of them. So instead of "broomsticks on the shoulders" it sounded something like 'the broomsticks were hungry'. And instead of what was suppose to be "the clown is running" it sounded more like 'the clown is getting mail'.

Were they laughing with me or at me?

Okay, Ice Charades, big deal, so you were in a play, does this have anything to do with skating?

Why yes, thanks for asking. I must say my flower costume was the most embarrassing thing I've ever worn ... but other costumes in my skating past were close.

The candy mint costume comes to mind. Dressed up in a giant mint candy (think circular sandwich boards across the body) and celephane wrap shooting out from my shoulders and knees. We couldn't even skate in them because the candy circle went down past our knees.

In my skating life, I've also been a penguin, an Eskimo, an Indian teepee, a snowflake, a piece of cake, a cat, a Japanese TV villian - that was so much fun! - a mouse, a tree, two more flowers, and a pinball flipper. Have I forgotten something?

There is no diginity when you need a paycheck.

So, I guess what I'm getting at is that I've had my share of embarrassing costumes, so what was one more.