A Swearing Contest?

Did Xan just challenge me to a swearing contest?

Don't get it confused with her T-Shirt Contest right here.

There's some cross-promotion, right there.

So, if it is swearing you want ... how about my new favorite song. I just discovered it from the fabulous Wii - Just Dance 3 (please don't tell my daughter that what she's dancing to is not the original version).



The song is so fun and boppy, someone described it as Motown mixed with early, angry Eminem. You may have seen the cleaned-up version on Glee or the Grammys with Gwyneth Paltrow, but I suggest you go straight to the video. So cute - a little like "Little Shop of Horrors" loaded with F-bombs.

So, if you laughed at the owl, I hope you'll laugh at Cee Lo Green's official video for his hit - F**k You.

Enjoy!

Resolution for 2012

Xanboni has inspired me to write down some goals for this blog for the new year. I'm impressed with all she has set out to do and I'm looking forward to the new website.

So, can Ice Charades stick to a New Years Resolutions this time? How did last year's goal go? Let's see ... my goal was to swear more. And truth be told, I sucked at it, didn't I?

Well, fuck it, let's try something new.

But I just got carried away with this photo and couldn't help myself. And let's be honest, it is so much funnier when you say "the rest of the fucking owl" isn't it?

The picture is by Alexia Tsotsis, and the explanation on why it is so hard to become an expert comes from Ben Casnocha's blog, and I discovered the whole thing via the Daily Dish.

So for 2012, my resolution this year is to get more followers. Not sure if I have to steal them from another, more obscure blog, come up with an obnoxious contest to win you over or hijack the comment's section of another skating blog and shamelessly beg.

But perhaps the best way to get more followers is to write better, funnier posts. At least something kind of clever ... well hopefully, sort-of, maybe/kinda witty. I promise not to post another Ice Capades Reunion notice and then skate away. No more job vacancy posts without some chatty banter and insight included.

Please keep checking back, please sign up to follow me. And I'll say it again

Happy Hell of a New Year!

Here's to a Happy 2012

It was one year ago since I've been skating. I never thought I'd actually skate in Panama - not much of a skating tradition there. Years earlier, they put a sheet of ice in a shopping mall, but it didn't catch on. Somehow the marketing and the mood was better last year when they installed the ice at the mall down the street from me.

But I never thought that the last time I went to skate, they'd have Panama's equivalent of "The Today Show" using the ice as a backdrop and then Panama's equivalent of Matt Lauer asking if he could interview me.

Panama's Matt Lauer, Alex


"In Spanish?" I asked in Spanish while I made a funny face.

"Don't worry, in Spanish and in English," he replied in English.

Sure, why not. It was unfortunate that I hadn't performed in fourteen years and I was quite rusty. Couldn't skate more than forty seconds without getting winded.

But I did my best. Here's the part where I show the kids how to do swizzles.




How cool is it that I got the chyron treatment, Jenny - Patinadora Profesional Sobre Hielo? That translates to Jenny - Professional Ice Skater, if your Spanish is as bad as mine (used to be).





It's hard to top a skating day like that when you get interviewed on national television and it is part of why I haven't skated since. I could leave it there and feel good about my quasi-career in ice shows.

But that's the problem with ice shows and skating in general. It is hard to walk (shall I say skate?) away for the last time.

So if I skate again, you'll be the first to know. But regardless, here's to a great 2012 for everyone.

Happy New Year!

Don, we now our (are) gay

... apparel. And I'm not talking about my friend's new blue-suade skates. They are so gay.

But they are so cooooool!

Well, last year I got an Xmas card from a guy I skated with twelve years before that. He was about to get married and I skated in two shows with him and his then girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife.

They got married, years later they got divorced, and to this day my friend is still single. (The ex-wife got remarried, had kids, and I think all is good with her.)

So, I must say I was surprised when I opened his annual Xmas card and this time it was from him and his friend, let's say Steve*.

*not his real name

Then I was not so surprised, because I felt he was happy again. Ready to let everyone know. He certainly had a big smile in the picture.

An Ice Showgirl's Endorsement Deal

I'm looking to score one, please.

I've seen other blogs, especially parenting blogs, and they get them. All sorts of fun stuff.

Xanboni got one for the Halo.

And it's that time of year when everyone's looking to buy a Xmas or Hanukkah gift.

Then I got to thinking and I'm not sure what products a showgirl could really get a leg up on, except for maybe Capezio or Danskin fishnets. Back in the day when I skated with HOI or in Japan, I couldn't buy them at a store, so they were coveted items, doled out once every six weeks or so.

That meant you had to treat them with great care. Throwing them away was not an option. Sewing up the holes was necessary, even though I was never good at it. See that post here. I outsourced that job.

I suppose that we could tell you all about false-eyelash glue. That probably wouldn't be too valuable for the once-or-twice-a-year wearing for your average party girl. But for models or strippers? I would especially endorse any glue that didn't give me a terrible rash.

But now that I think about it, I suspect the false-eyelash glue guys would prefer to talk to models or strippers instead.

No, what I think show skaters could really get behind is a luggage endorsement deal. Here that Samsonite? Tumi? Disney On Ice could tell you a thing or two. Holiday On Ice is lugging that suitcase up and down stairs, so they could tell you which bag keeps its wheels from falling off.

For any of you old enough to remember the gorilla vs. the suitcase commercial I bet a showgirl could do more damage. I've seen it when they were thrown onto the train.

You should take 30 seconds to watch the commercial, it will make you laugh, I swear.

So what do you say American Tourister? Got any samples you want some showgirls to kick around? Let me know.

Happy Holiday Shopping!

More Ice Shows

Season's Greetings!

December is here - the season can start! This is every showgirl's favorite holiday. Why? There were and are lots of holiday shows this time of year. Easy to get a job ... sometimes only for a couple months, but it was better than laying on the couch moping.

Nutcracker On Ice
Charles Schulz Christmas Show in Santa Rosa
Chicago Drury Lane Theater
Myrtle Beach
West Palm Beach, FL
Europa Park

and I'm sure I'm missing some, somewhere. Let's hope you get to see one before the year is over (or before something like January 8th or so).

Happy Holidays!